If I wanted to read a plot filled with cliched, inexplicable character introductions and no clear direction, that'd be the first thing on my mind. Of course, some would say I should just turn the sound down and read the words instead. However, it was around this point I started to switch off in the face of misplaced pauses, mispronounced words and mangled accents. In fact, I'll fill you in, and tell you the plot right here and now, shall I? Well, as it happens, you play a mercenary called Emerald Flint in a 27th century politcally unstable undersea world, full of powerful corporations who you can hire your services to. Pre-mission talks can be put to an abrupt stop, neatly missing out all plot points that spew from the mouths of the non-animated cartoon characters who populate the underwater cities, getting you right into the thick of the action.
"But, surely," you say, "you can skip them?" Why, yes of course you can. If you're going to waste away your single-player campaign making the shoddiest exposition scenes ever committed to CD, people like me aren't going to be very happy. Let's put it another way: despite what people tell you, presentation is a major factor in how much you like a game. Forty-three people who should hang their heads in shame. It's not that it's bad - it's worse it's 43 people having just come bottom in their How To Act Badly class, willing to humiliate themselves and display their lack of script-reading talents to the public. Forty-three people are responsible for turning an almost-decent underwater shoot 'em up into an intolerable endurance test. Forty-three people contributed their voiceacting skills to the making of Aquanox.
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